Sexual Discipline in Islam
1. Monasticism:
This idea holds the view that sexual life is inherently incompatible with piety. Priests practice monasticism and abstinence (ब्रह्मचर्य), while the common men treat is as a ‘necessary evil’ required for procreation.
But the Qur'an says that God did not ordain this practice of monasticism to begin with, and those who chose this way - ostensibly to please God - could not abide by its strict code either.
وَرَهْبَانِيَّةً ٱبْتَدَعُوهَا مَا كَتَبْنَـٰهَا عَلَيْهِمْ إِلَّا ٱبْتِغَآءَ رِضْوَٰنِ ٱللَّهِ فَمَا رَعَوْهَا حَقَّ رِعَايَتِهَا
[Surah Hadeed, ayat 27]
The Qur'an, instead, has asked the unmarried to get married.
وَأَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْأَيَـٰمَىٰ مِنكُمْ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَآئِكُمْ ۚ إِن يَكُونُوا۟ فُقَرَآءَ يُغْنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٌۭ
[Surah Noor, ayat 32]
In a Hadith narrated by Anas bin Malik ؓ , three men approach the Prophet's wives , enquiring about his worship routine. Perceiving it to be less than what should be expected of sinful men like them, they decide to up the ante. One of them vows to fast everyday, the second decides to pray all night, while the third one swears he would never marry. When Prophet Muhammad ﷺ learnt of this, he admonished them and said, “I am the most fearful of God, but I fast some days and don't fast on others, I pray a part of the night and also sleep, and I marry and have wives too. This is my way. He who deviates from my way is not from me.”
[Saheeh Muslim]
2. Islam
The Qur'an states that it is God Himself who has programmed men with sexual desires.
زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ ٱلشَّهَوَٰتِ مِنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ
[Surah Aal’Imran, ayat 14]
But the expression of this sexual desire (and all forms of intimacy and romance, for that matter) has been restricted to one's legally wedded wife alone. And even that is finely regulated - this sex cannot be anal, it cannot be performed while the wife is having her periods or postpartum bleeding, it cannot be performed while fasting or while in a state of ehram, and the couple needs to take a complete bath before the next namaz.
[Please note that involuntary emission of semen upon seeing a wet dream / experiencing nightfall is a completely innocuous phenomenon. So is the involuntary discharge of precum at the sight/smell/thought of some arousing stimulus. Neither does Islam look down upon them as sins, nor do they invalidate one's fast or ehram. All he is required to do is to perform wuzu (in case of precum discharge) or take a complete bath (in case of a wetdream) before the next namaz to purify himself]
One of the qualities of the believers mentioned in the Qur'an is that they guard their private parts from all others except their wives (and bondswomen):
وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَـٰفِظُونَ
إِلَّا عَلَىٰٓ أَزْوَٰجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ
فَمَنِ ٱبْتَغَىٰ وَرَآءَ ذَٰلِكَ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْعَادُونَ
[Surah alMuminoon, ayaat 5-7]
All this “others” includes men too.
It is recorded in Sahih Muslim that Abu Saeed al-Khudri ؓ narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ has said: “A man should not look at the private parts of another man, and a woman should not look at the private parts of another woman. A man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.”
In the very least bit, men are required to cover their bodies from the navel to the knees and women are required to cover their entire bodies (except the face and hands on certain occasions). Young men often tend to overlook this ruling, especially while changing clothes in their hostel, at beaches and waterparks; they ought to be very careful not to mimic the ways of those who see no harm in public nudity. In the 58th and 59th ayaat of Surah anNoor, people are instructed to undress only in their private chambers. disallowing others from intruding into anyone’s privacy unless permitted (lest he or she be found undressed).
Ladies have been told to conceal their adornments and to be particular about veiling themselves (except in front of certain close relatives). Though the elderly ladies are allowed to put aside their outer garments, they are still required to modestly refrain from displaying their adornments. [Surah Noor, ayaat 31 & 60]
When it comes to congregational prayers, men are also advised to wear shirts having sleeves long enough to cover their elbows, lest their arms rub against the arms of the men standing besides them.
If these are the precautions to be taken with men, imagine how much a man ought to avoid sharing spaces with unrelated women. Mixed gender gatherings have been discouraged in Islam, and care should be taken that a man and an unrelated woman are not present in confinement.
A note on Masturbation:
Masturbation is a very controversial topic in Islam. While the prudes within the Ummah look down upon it with disdain and are quick to call it haram, it should be known that there is NO explicit injunction against this practice in the Qur'an or authentic Hadith literature. Amongst the four Imams of Fiqh, Imam Malik and Shafi’i do not permit it at all, while their accomplished student, Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal, does not see any harm in this practice. Imam Abu Haneefah allows it under conditions where a person is tempted to indulge in zina. He sees masturbation as the lesser of the two evils, and hence suggests that the person concerned better indulge in self pleasure than indulge in zina.
Also, there is no scientific study that masturbation poses any health risk, provided it does not become addictive. And, yes, masturbation should never follow pornography, because pornography is haram by unanimous consensus; there is no Islamic scholar worth his salt who has ever condoned it till date.
Readers are advised to go through Shaikh Yasir Qazi’s lecture on this subject to obtain a thorough understanding of Islam's ruling on masturbation and other acts of sexual intimacy in and out of marriage. Click here
3. Hedonism
The postmodern idea believes in free sex outside marriage, having girlfriends, mistresses, live-in relationships and even homosexual relationships. And those who don't have a partner are encouraged to masturbate watching porn.
All this is absolutely, unequivocally haram in Islam, regardless of age and consent. Men have been admonished not to regard women as mere sex-objects. They have been asked to seek chastity even in marriage.
مُّحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَـٰفِحِينَ
[Surah anNisa’, ayat 24]
وَلَا تُكْرِهُوا۟ فَتَيَـٰتِكُمْ عَلَى ٱلْبِغَآءِ
[Surah Noor, ayat 33]
As for those who do not have the means to get married, they have been asked to remain chaste:
وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ
[Ibid]
Repercussions of unbridled sexual expression:
· Family breakdown: The family structure is based on mutual respect, trust and morality. It should come as no surprise then that the rise in family breakdowns today has closely corresponded with the rise in public indecency, which in turn leads to pre and extra marital sex, live-in relations, friends-with-benefits and other such abhorrent practices.
· Sexual apathy: Overexposure to nudity and free mixing of men and women today has waned off the subtle emotions experienced by a newly wed couple; there is nothing left for them to anticipate and hence the element of excitement mellows down. Pornography gives rise to unrealistic expectations from the spouse, as the addict is used to seeing artificially enhanced sex with well-sculpted models. The couple is hence unable to enjoy intimacy and sex.
· Sexual perversion: On the other hand, cases of rape, child abuse, eve teasing, homosexuality etc. are increasing exponentially.
· Early onset of puberty: Early and constant exposure to nudity and easy access to pornography on smartphones is creating havoc with the hormonal balance of adolescents, causing them to mature faster physically than emotionally, and creating in them the unnatural urge to ‘experiment’.
· Diseases: The root cause of diseases like HPV, Hepatitis B and C, Herpes simplex, Gonorrhea, Syphilis and HIV/AIDS is having sexual relations with multiple partners. Perverted sexual activities can also cause haemorrhoids, fissures and anal cancer. Psychological problems include reckless sexual behaviour, sadism and depression.
· Work-life balance: Watching a lot of porn adversely affects the person's work and studies; his performance in the office/ college takes a nosedive.
· Loss of prestige in society: In a sane society, acts of indecency are still looked down upon and can put a life long blemish on one’s character profile.
· Ultimate repercussion: Every person is accountable for his deeds before Allah. On the Day of Judgment, Allah would punish people for their lewdness and immorality in a way that is beyond description.
[The perils surrounding same-sex attraction warrant a separate discussion altogether. For a complete appraisal of the LGBT issue, readers are requested to go through my book, ‘A Crescent in the Rainbow’]
The Storm that wreaks our house:
But if that is so, then why do people still indulge in illicit sex and pornography? That is because there are two principal factors that make immorality alluring to man. They are:
I. Satan
After being abased in front of the angels and man himself, Satan vows to mislead human beings. Satan's threat in the Qur'an clearly illustrates his plan:
وَّ لَاُضِلَّنَّہُمۡ وَ لَاُمَنِّیَنَّہُمۡ
[Surah anNisa, ayat 119]
But Allah cautions us not to fall in his trap:
يَـٰبَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ لَا يَفْتِنَنَّكُمُ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ كَمَآ أَخْرَجَ أَبَوَيْكُم مِّنَ ٱلْجَنَّةِ يَنزِعُ عَنْهُمَا لِبَاسَهُمَا لِيُرِيَهُمَا سَوْءَٰتِهِمَآ ۗ إِنَّهُۥ يَرَىٰكُمْ هُوَ وَقَبِيلُهُۥ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا تَرَوْنَهُمْ
[Surah alAaraf, ayat 27]
Allah admonishes man thus:
یٰۤاَیُّہَا الَّذِیۡنَ اٰمَنُوۡا لَا تَتَّبِعُوۡا خُطُوٰتِ الشَّیۡطٰنِ ؕ وَ مَنۡ یَّتَّبِعۡ خُطُوٰتِ الشَّیۡطٰنِ فَاِنَّہٗ یَاۡمُرُ بِالۡفَحۡشَآءِ وَ الۡمُنۡکَرِ ؕ وَ لَوۡ لَا فَضۡلُ اللّٰہِ عَلَیۡکُمۡ وَ رَحۡمَتُہٗ مَا زَکٰی مِنۡکُمۡ مِّنۡ اَحَدٍ اَبَدًا ۙ وَّ لٰکِنَّ اللّٰہَ یُزَکِّیۡ مَنۡ یَّشَآءُ ؕ وَ اللّٰہُ سَمِیۡعٌ عَلِیۡمٌ
[Surah Noor, ayat 21]
How Does Satan Order Evil and Immorality?
1. Art: Nudism has been converted into a form of art by European agents of Satan. Nude statues and paintings ‘adorn’ the houses and offices of western countries. Drawing nude people is part of the syllabus being offered to students of art even in our country. Turning nudity into art has made it so acceptable in people’s eyes that it is no longer considered awkward or embarrassing.
2. Commercialization: A nude or semi-nude woman or a part of her body is ubiquitous in every advertisement these days. From soap to cement, deodorants to bikes- the customer is lustfully lured into buying any and every product by ravaging the dignity of our daughters and sisters. Lingerie ads make no discrimination it seems- they have stripped both men and ladies of their modesty. Even in the service sector, we may certainly have men wearing 4-5 layered clothing, but when it comes to women, they are so lewdly put up at the reception desk or the airline aisle that a man can hardly control himself from staring at them.
3. Films, TV serials, web series and tabloids: The films dished out today are a far cry from the ones in the 50s. Where mere flowers were shown touching each other then, nothing seems left to be shown today. Daily soaps and comedy serials are replete with vulgar content. Even the cartoons children watch are not exempted- what with kissing scenes in fairy tales and love stories of 5-year olds! I wonder why they cannot spare even innocent minds from this filth. Tabloids have become so obnoxious these days that I was compelled to unsubscribe from certain ‘reputed’ ones.
Another problem with films is that they tend to promote toxic masculinity and misogyny by normalising it. Women appearing in ‘item numbers’ essentially reduce them to sex objects.
4. Cultural appeal: ‘Nudism is in our culture’, they say. It is true that climatic conditions dictate culture and fashion in certain countries, but how would you explain the gross prevalence of public nudity in a freezing country like Norway? Nude beaches abound in Europe. Nude mixed swimming is common in many countries there and no one bats an eyelid. What kind of a perverted culture is this? There was a time during the Victorian era when European ladies wore multiple layers of clothing and hardly any part of their body was exposed. But satanic goons have succeeded in changing the very perspective of Europeans- so much so that wearing full clothes is now considered archaic, suppressive and out-of-fashion by its neo-civilized inhabitants.
5. Pornography: With widespread access to internet, visual pornography has mushroomed dramatically. On any given day, indecent material is the most searched item on websites and the pornography industry is now a multi-billion dollar one.
6. Festivals: We all know that festivals like Valentine’s Day are more about illicit relationships than pure love. Pure love does not need ‘days’ to celebrate. Sadly, even Indian festivals like Navratri and Holi have began accepting vulgar hues of late. Any gynecologist will tell you the number of abortion and hymen reconstruction surgery cases witnessed following these festivals. It should not be difficult to decipher why the sale of contraceptives rises sharply during these events
II. Nafs
In addition to these external factors, man's own nafs tries to pull him into the abyss of sin.
God attests that man's nafs keeps whispering evil suggestions to him:
وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِۦ نَفْسُهُ
[Surah Qaf, ayat 16]
Yusuf ؑ says that if not for the mercy of God, the nafs is ever-inclinded to evil. He says that he is no exception either:
وَمَآ أُبَرِّئُ نَفْسِىٓ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلنَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌۢ بِٱلسُّوٓءِ إِلَّا مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّىٓ
[Surah Yusuf, ayat 53]
Securing the house
So these are the winds that try very hard to collapse the house of a chaste person's soul. Those who realize the disasters these winds lead to, try to strengthen the walls by resolving never to watch porn or indulge in illicit relationships. They put on filters on their social media apps and search engines. But all this fails if the foundation is not strong. Resolutions are broken and filters get over-riden in the heat of the moment.
Foundation and sub-foundations
What we require is a strong foundation. And that foundation is Taqwa. This foundation of Taqwa needs to be further reinforced with certain sub-foundations. These are:
Firm belief in the Messenger of God ﷺ, the deen he has given us and his promises:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَءَامِنُوا۟ بِرَسُولِهِ
[57:28]
Good company:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَكُونُوا۟ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ
[9:119]
This has been emphasized in aHadith too. In one Hadith, for instance, the Prophet has explained the importance of good company citing the example of being with a perfume seller and a blacksmith.
In another Hadith, the Prophet had advised Abu Zarr Ghiffari ؓ to prefer good company over being alone, and being alone over bad company. A person addicted to porn should, hence, refrain from being alone with his mobile phone, tab and laptop. He should use them only in front of others. This would deter him from watching porn. At times, fear of men reinforces the fear of God.
Straight talk:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًۭا سَدِيدًۭا
يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَـٰلَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ
[Surah Ahzab, ayaat 70,71]
In a previous ayat, Surah alAhzab instructs women not to be soft in speech, lest perverted men gather wrong signals.
فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِٱلْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ ٱلَّذِى فِى قَلْبِهِۦ مَرَضٌۭ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًۭا مَّعْرُوفًۭا
[Surah Ahzab, ayat 32]
Introspect:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلْتَنظُرْ نَفْسٌۭ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ لِغَدٍۢ
وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ
[Surah Hashr, ayat 18]
Seek the means to please God:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱبْتَغُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهِ ٱلْوَسِيلَةَ
[Surah Maidah, ayat 35]
This can be through acts of worship. Indeed, the very purpose of these acts of worship is to inculcate taqwa. God says:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ
[Surah Baqarah, ayat 21]
Strive in His way:
وَجَـٰهِدُوا۟ فِى سَبِيلِهِ
[Surah Maidah, ayat 35]
Islam is not an armchair religion; its essence is in the field. Taqwa is to be demonstrated against the tides, amongst the thorns.
Ghairah:
A Muslim should be too proud and self-respectful to indulge in sins. It does not behove him to stoop to the level of a man who has made his base desires his gods. His sense of shame before God and His Messenger ought to be enough to deter him from sins and strengthen his Taqwa.
In Surah Noor and Hujurat, God says that it is beneath the position of a Believer to indulge in sin. Although both ayaat, 17 and 11 respectively, discuss specific sins, the import is general:
یَعِظُکُمُ اللّٰہُ اَنۡ تَعُوۡدُوۡا لِمِثۡلِہٖۤ اَبَدًا اِنۡ کُنۡتُمۡ مُّؤۡمِنِیۡنَ
بِئۡسَ الِاسۡمُ الۡفُسُوۡقُ بَعۡدَ الۡاِیۡمَانِ
In the 14th ayat of Surah Alaq, God asks a question that should make a Believer feel embarrassed at the very thought of committing a sin. He asks,
أَلَمْ يَعْلَم بِأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَرَىٰ
Haya:
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had said:
“If you do not have haya, then do as you please”. [Bukhari]
This can be reinfored by asserting one's Muslim identity. It can be in the form of a Sunnah beard for men and hijab for women, which would constantly remind him/her of his/her position in society as a devout Muslim.
Walls of Sabr
Once our foundation of Taqwa is strong, the walls of Sabr can be built upon them.
The bricks of this wall are:
1. Astaghfar and good deeds to correct the past wrongs and avoid the guilt trap
وَلَا يَزْنُونَ ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًۭا
يُضَـٰعَفْ لَهُ ٱلْعَذَابُ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَـٰمَةِ وَيَخْلُدْ فِيهِۦ مُهَانًا
إِلَّا مَن تَابَ وَءَامَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًۭا صَـٰلِحًۭا فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ ٱللَّهُ سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ حَسَنَـٰتٍۢ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا
وَمَن تَابَ وَعَمِلَ صَـٰلِحًۭا فَإِنَّهُۥ يَتُوبُ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ مَتَابًۭا
[Surah Furqan, ayaat 68-71]
In these ayaat, God has assured the Believers that He would forgive even the ultimate sin of zina. It is hence expected that lesser sins of immortality would also be forgiven upon sincere repentance.
2. Hope in Allah's mercy and forgiveness
قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ
[Surah Zumar, ayat 53]
A Believer should never lose hope of reformation. The Prophet ﷺ has told us that hopelessness is akin to disbelief.
3. Avoid major sins
God has assured us that He would consider the best of our deeds provided we consciously stay away from major sins, which in this context would be zina.
وَلِلَّهِ مَا فِى ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٰتِ وَمَا فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ لِيَجْزِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسَـٰٓـُٔوا۟ بِمَا عَمِلُوا۟ وَيَجْزِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا۟ بِٱلْحُسْنَى
ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ
[Surah Najm, ayaat 31-32]
4. Avoid avenues of fahash and zina
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ
[Surah alAn'am, ayat 151]
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَـٰحِشَةًۭ وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًۭا
[Surah Bani Israil, ayat 32]
This would include friend circles, social media apps, parties and pubs that tempt one to engage in illicit sexual behaviour and pornography. Better safe than sorry
5. Make a Promise to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has said,
مَنْ يَضْمَنْ لِي مَا بَيْنَ لَحْيَيْهِ وَمَا بَيْنَ رِجْلَيْهِ أَضْمَنْ لَهُ الْجَنَّةَ
[Sahl bin Sa’ad: Bukhari]
So, the person should promise the Prophet that he would henceforth be diligent with his private parts. The realisation that he would have to face the Prophet on the Day of Judgement will make it all the more embarrassing for him to indulge in immoralities.
6. Seek Allah's refuge, and remember Allah at once
It is Satan who makes man revolt against his instinct, senses, intellect and divine guidance. That is the reason why a person feels shame and remorse after having committed an indecent act; because it is Satan who enjoyed it, not him. Hence, the solution lies in preventing Satan from perverting our selves. We can do this by acting upon the following instruction:
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ نَزْغٌۭ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا۟ إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَـٰٓئِفٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ تَذَكَّرُوا۟ فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ
[Surah Aaraf, ayaat 200-201]
Remember when Prophet Yusuf was on the verge of lowering his guard with Zulaikha, and God reminded him of his position by showing him His burhan?
وَهَمَّ بِهَا لَوْلَآ أَن رَّءَا بُرْهَـٰنَ رَبِّهِ
[Surah Yusuf, ayat 24]
We need some burhan to remind us of God too. It can be an Islamic wallpaper on our mobile phones, tablets and laptops. It can be our ringtone. It can even be an Islamic frame in our bedroom.
7. Early Marriage
Since marriage is the only permissible vent to sexual desires, early marriages upon puberty are encouraged in Islam. We have already noted it's importance while discussing Islam's stand on monasticism. The following Hadith conveys the importance of early marriages in guarding one's chastity:
‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated, We were young men with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and we did not have anything (i.e., we could not afford to get married). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to us, “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, then let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever is not able to do that, then let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.”
[Bukhaari, 5066; Muslim, 1400]
8. Lower your gaze
Lowering the gaze is a guaranteed way to guard one's chastity.
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ
[Surah Noor, ayaat 30-31]
9. Fasting
Fasting reins in one's carnal desires. The Hadith mentioned in point #7 reiterates this fact.
10. Namaz
Namaz is an important tool that saves us from immoralities. The Qur'an says,
إِنَّ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ
[Surah Ankaboot, ayat 45]
11. Zikr
The Qur'an says that regular reminders benefit the Believers:
وَذَكِّرْ فَإِنَّ ٱلذِّكْرَىٰ تَنفَعُ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ
[Surah Zariyat, ayat 55]
This can be in the form of daily study of the Qur'an, and listening to Islamic lectures, especially those which melt the heart and remind us of the Day when we would be made to stand before God and account for our sins.
12. Remember death often
One can visit the graveyard to remind himself that the ultimate end of all of life's desires is the grave. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has said, “Keep remembering the destroyer of pleasures - death”.
[Abu Hurairah : Tirmizi]
13. Positive and negative reinforcements
Thank God and reward yourself when you succeed in keeping away from immoralities. Likewise, punish yourself and repent immediately if you succumb to sin.
14. Engage in academics, sports and creative activities.
This should divert one's mind from satanic whisperings and the carnal urges of one's nafs. These attacks are usually severe when the person is idle, with nothing better to do.
15. Supplicate to God
At the end of the day, it is God Almighty’s taufeeq and help that can save man from indulging in sins. Hence, it is imperative that he earnestly pleads before Him in tahajjud to help him overcome his sinful temptations.
God asks His Prophet to reassure us thus:
وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِى عَنِّى فَإِنِّى قَرِيبٌ ۖ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ ٱلدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ ۖ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا۟ لِى وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا۟ بِى لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ
[Surah alBaqarah, ayat 186]
Conclusion:
In conclusion, sexual expression is neither detested in Islam, nor has it been given a free rein. As with all the matters concerning our lives, sexual expression has also been brought under the purview of Islamic ethics and regulations. And when seen under the grand scheme of things, it is one of the most important trials and tests that man has to undergo on earth.
May God keep us all safe from failing these trials, and grant us the help and taufeeq to abide by His commands, and to follow the pristine example of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in all walks of life. Amen.
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