Sexual Discipline in Islam

After being abased in front of the angels and man himself, Satan vows to mislead human beings. Allow me to quote from Surah anNisa ayat 119- 

وَّ لَاُضِلَّنَّہُمۡ وَ لَاُمَنِّیَنَّہُمۡ 

‘And I (Satan) will mislead them (humans), and I will arouse in them sinful desires…’ which clearly illustrates his plan.

But Allah cautions us not to fall in his trap. In Surah alAaraf ayat 27 Allah tells us, “O Children of Adam, let not Satan tempt you as he removed your parents from Paradise, stripping them of their clothing to show them their private parts. Indeed he sees you- he and his tribe- from where you do not see them….”

Allah admonishes man in Surah Noor, ayat 21 :

یٰۤاَیُّہَا الَّذِیۡنَ اٰمَنُوۡا لَا تَتَّبِعُوۡا خُطُوٰتِ الشَّیۡطٰنِ ؕ وَ مَنۡ یَّتَّبِعۡ خُطُوٰتِ الشَّیۡطٰنِ فَاِنَّہٗ یَاۡمُرُ بِالۡفَحۡشَآءِ وَ الۡمُنۡکَرِ ؕ وَ لَوۡ لَا فَضۡلُ اللّٰہِ عَلَیۡکُمۡ وَ رَحۡمَتُہٗ مَا زَکٰی مِنۡکُمۡ مِّنۡ اَحَدٍ اَبَدًا ۙ وَّ لٰکِنَّ اللّٰہَ یُزَکِّیۡ مَنۡ یَّشَآءُ ؕ وَ اللّٰہُ سَمِیۡعٌ عَلِیۡمٌ 

O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing.

How Does Satan Order Evil and Immorality?

1. Art: Nudism has been converted into a form of art by European agents of Satan. Nude statues and paintings ‘adorn’ the houses and offices of western countries. Drawing nude people is part of the syllabus being offered to students of art even in our country. Turning nudity into art has made it so acceptable in people’s eyes that it is no longer considered awkward or embarrassing.

2. Commercialization: A nude or semi-nude woman or a part of her body is ubiquitous in every advertisement these days. From soap to cement, deodorants to bikes- the customer is lustfully lured into buying any and every product by ravaging the dignity of our daughters and sisters. Lingerie ads make no discrimination it seems- they have stripped both men and ladies of their modesty. Even in the service sector, we may certainly have men wearing 4-5 layered clothing, but when it comes to women, they are so lewdly put up at the reception desk or the airline aisle that a man can hardly control himself from staring at them.

3. Films, TV serials and tabloids: The films dished out today are a far cry from the ones in the 50s. Where mere flowers were shown touching each other then, nothing seems left to be shown today. Daily soaps and comedy serials are replete with vulgar content. Even the cartoons children watch are not exempted- what with kissing scenes in fairy tales and love stories of 5-year olds! I wonder why they cannot spare even innocent minds from this filth. Tabloids have become so obnoxious these days that I was compelled to unsubscribe from certain ‘reputed’ ones.

Another problem with films is that they tend to promote toxic masculinity and misogyny by normalising it. Women appearing in ‘item numbers’ essentially reduce them to sex objects.

4. Cultural appeal: ‘Nudism is in our culture’, they say. It is true that climatic conditions dictate culture and fashion in certain countries, but how would you explain the gross prevalence of public nudity in a freezing country like Norway? Nude beaches abound in Europe. Nude mixed swimming is common in many countries there and no one bats an eyelid. What kind of a perverted culture is this? There was a time during the Victorian era when European ladies wore multiple layers of clothing and hardly any part of their body was exposed. But satanic goons have succeeded in changing the very perspective of Europeans- so much so that wearing full clothes is now considered archaic, suppressive and out-of-fashion by its neo-civilized inhabitants.

5. Pornography: With widespread access to internet, visual pornography has mushroomed dramatically. On any given day, indecent material is the most searched item on websites and the pornography industry is now a multi-billion dollar one.

6. Festivals: We all know that festivals like Valentine’s Day are more about illicit relationships than pure love. Pure love does not need ‘days’ to celebrate. Sadly, even Indian festivals like Navratri and Holi have began accepting vulgar hues of late. Any gynecologist will tell you the number of abortion and hymen reconstruction surgery cases witnessed following these festivals. It should not be difficult to decipher why the sale of contraceptives rises sharply during these events.

Repercussions of Indecency:

· Family breakdown: The family structure is based on mutual respect, trust and morality. It should come as no surprise then that the rise in family breakdowns today has closely corresponded with the rise in public indecency, which in turn leads to pre and extra marital sex, live-in relations, friends-with-benefits and other such abhorrent practices.

· Sexual apathy: Overexposure to nudity and free mixing of man and women today has waned off the subtle emotions experienced by a newly wed couple; there is nothing left for them to anticipate and hence the element of excitement mellows down. Pornography gives rise to unrealistic expectations from the spouse, as the addict is used to seeing artificially enhanced sex with well-sculpted models. The couple is hence unable to enjoy intimacy and sex.

· Sexual perversion: On the other hand, cases of rape, child abuse, eve teasing, homosexuality etc. are increasing exponentially.

· Early onset of puberty: Early and constant exposure to nudity and easy access to pornography on smartphones is creating havoc with the hormonal balance of adolescents, causing them to mature faster physically than emotionally, and creating in them the unnatural urge to ‘experiment’.

· Diseases: The root cause of diseases like HPV, Hepatitis B and C, Herpes simplex, Gonorrhea, Syphilis and HIV/AIDS is having sexual relations with multiple partners. Perverted sexual activities can also cause haemorrhoids, fissures and anal cancer. Psychological problems include reckless sexual behaviour, sadism and depression.

· Loss of prestige in society: In a sane society, acts of indecency are still looked down upon and can put a life long blemish on one’s character profile.

· Ultimate repercussion: Every person is accountable for his deeds before Allah. On the Day of Judgment, Allah would punish people for their lewdness and immorality in a way that is beyond description.

Islamic approach to sexual conduct:

Sexual conduct has two extremes - post modern liberalism and orthodox abstinence. But Islam has a balanced approach towards sexual conduct. Sexual desire, in itself, is nothing to be ashamed of. God has Himself put it in us. He says:

زُیِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّہَوٰتِ مِنَ النِّسَآءِ

[3:14]

The issue is not with sexual desire, per se, but the way in which it is expressed. And there is only ONE valid mode of expression - with one’s wife. Anything beyond that is transgression.

“And they who guard their private parts, except from their wives or those that their right hands possess, for indeed they will not be blamed. But whoever seeks beyond that then those are the transgressors.” [Al Qur’an 23:5-7]

So, what is the solution to this transgression? How do we not transgress?

We can have this solution at two levels:

· Individual: It is Satan who makes man revolt against his instinct, senses, intellect and divine guidance. Hence, the solution lies in preventing Satan from perverting our selves. We can do this by acting upon the following instruction- “And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed He is Hearing and Knowing. Indeed, those who fear Allah- when an impulse touches them from Satan, they remember Him and at once they have insight.” [Al Qur’an 7-200-201] Even in the story of Prophet Yusuf (Peace be upon him) we read how Allah saved him from committing an immoral act by showing him His signs. [Al Qur’an 12:24] Hence, we should praying to Allah to save us from falling into the abyss of sin.

Allah has Himself taught man to shun nudity and adopt decency via His messengers and revealed books. Various preventive and punitive measures have been laid down to avert the spread of indecency.

The Qur’an is very explicit in this regard:

• The Qur'an instructs us to keep away from all avenues of immorality:

 وَ لَا تَقۡرَبُوا الۡفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَہَرَ مِنۡہَا وَ مَا بَطَنَ

 [6:151]

 وَ لَا تَقۡرَبُوا الزِّنٰۤی اِنَّہٗ کَانَ فَاحِشَۃً ؕ وَ سَآءَ سَبِیۡلًا

[17:32]

• Be particular about all forms of ibadat to imbue taqwa [2:21], especially namaz and fasting.

اِنَّ الصَّلٰوۃَ  تَنۡہٰی عَنِ الۡفَحۡشَآءِ  وَ الۡمُنۡکَرِ

[29:45]

Likewise, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has asked young men to control their sexual urges by means of frequent fasting.

‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated, “We were young men with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and we did not have anything (i.e., we could not afford to get married). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to us, ‘O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, then let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever is not able to do that, then let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.’” (al-Bukhaari, 5066; Muslim, 1400).

• Men have been admonished not to regard women as mere sex-objects. They have been asked to seek chastity even in marriage. [4:24]

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has instructed us that when we seek a bride, we should look beyond her physical beauty and seek one who is pious.

· In the 58th and 59th ayaat of Surah anNoor, people are instructed to undress only in their private chambers and disallowed others to intrude in anyone’s privacy unless permitted (lest he or she be found undressed).

· Men and women have been instructed to lower their gazes and guard their private parts [Al Qur’an 24:30-31]

· Ladies have been told to conceal their adornments and to be particular about veiling themselves (except in front of certain close relatives). Though the elderly ladies are allowed to put aside their outer garments, they are still required to modestly refrain from displaying their adornments. [Surah anNoor ayaat 31 & 60]

· Surah alAhzab instructs women not to be soft in speech, lest perverted men gather wrong signals. They are required to abide in their houses and not display themselves as was prevalent in the days of ignorance. Men have been instructed to speak to women from behind a partition. Women are also required to use veils in this Surah. [Ayaat 32, 33, 53 and 59]

· For the purpose of deterrence and negative reinforcement, strict punishments are prescribed for those who commit acts of immorality in Surah anNisa ayaat 15-16 and anNoor ayaat 2-3.

The Prophet ﷺ has also taught us how we can keep our society pure and chaste:

· Mixed gender gatherings have been discouraged in Islam and care should be taken that a man and an unrelated woman are not present in confinement.

· Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has even prohibited appearing nude in front of people belonging to one’s own gender. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim that Hazrat Abu Saeed al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah has said: ‘A man should not look at the private parts of another man, and a woman should not look at the private parts of another woman. A man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.’

· In the very least bit, men are required to cover their bodies from the navel to the knees and women are required to cover their entire bodies (except the face and hands on certain occasions).

· People have been advised to refrain from being alone, lest they get involved in some shameful deed in private. A good company helps people to abstain from committing sins.

· The beds of siblings are to be separated once they near puberty.

· Unmarried men and women have been counseled to fast regularly to tame their sexual urges.

Tips to resist pornography:

1. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has said, "I guarantee a place in Paradise to him who furnishes me a guarantee that he would be diligent with his speech and private parts." So, the person should promise the Prophet that he would henceforth be diligent with his private parts.

2. Use restricted mode and child filters for yourself on YouTube and Google. Uninstall apps like Instagram which provide gateways for porn.

3. If the urge is too strong, think about porn than actually watching it.

4. Avoid being alone with your mobile phone.

5. Keep some wallpaper on your home-screen to remind you of Allah.

6. Reward yourself when you restrain yourself and punish yourself whenever you indulge in porn.

7. Keep yourself busy with academics, sports and other creative things.

8. Maintain good company. "O you who believe, fear God and be with the sincere ones." [Surah atTaubah]  

9. Bring Allah to remembrance and seek His refuge, as suggested in the aforementioned ayaat of Surah alA'araf.

10. Develop taluq billah with lots of nawafil and zikr and dua.

A note on Masturbation:

Masturbation is a very controversial topic in Islam. While the prudes within the Ummah look down upon it with disdain and are quick to call it haram, it should be known that there is NO explicit injunction against this practice in the Qur'an or authentic Hadith literature. Amongst the four Imams of Fiqh, Imam Malik and Shafi’i do not permit it at all, while their accomplished student, Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal, does not see any harm in this practice. Imam Abu Haneefah allows it under conditions where a person is tempted to indulge in zina. He sees masturbation as the lesser of the two evils, and hence suggests that the person concerned better indulge in self pleasure than indulge in zina.

Also, there is no scientific study that masturbation poses any health risk, provided it does not become addictive. And, yes, masturbation should never follow pornography, because pornography is haram by unanimous consensus; there is no Islamic scholar worth his salt who has ever condoned it till date.

Collective: Islam has promised a civilized society with its foundations rooted in piety and morality; an environment where committing indecent acts becomes difficult for its citizens. Islam pulls the plug on all the vulgar activities and closes the very avenues that lead to indecency; hence, the punishment it prescribes in this regard is also extreme- flogging or stoning to death. If Islamic values and principles are meticulously adhered to, there would hardly be any case of molestation or sex-related crime in society. It is high time we open up to the just and wise system of Islam so as to beautify our lives here and in the hereafter.

-Dr. Parvez Mandviwala