To Forgive or to seek Vengeance?

If someone has ever wronged you, hurt you or being unjust to you AND he refuses to apologise for it, you have two legitimate options of response- you can either choose to forgive that person even if he has not sought forgiveness or you can choose to retaliate.

“The recompense of an injury is an injury of equal degree. But if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from God. God does not love the unjust.” [Surah ashShura ayat 40]

Retaliation can be taken in this world, but it should not exceed limits.
“If you punish, punish with an equivalent of that which you were harmed.” [Surah anNahl ayat 126]
This means that if someone slaps me, I am allowed to slap him back, but I am not allowed to slap him with a greater intensity.

But although allowed, retaliation is not recommended. The same ayat further says, “But if you are patient, it is better for those who are patient”.
The next ayat says, “And be patient. Your patience is not but from God. And do not grieve over them, and do not distress over what they conspire.”

Retaliation is not a wise idea either. When Cain tried to murder his brother Abel, Abel told him, “If you should raise your hand against me to kill me, I shall not raise my hand against you to kill you. Indeed I fear God, the Lord of the Worlds. Indeed, I want you to obtain thereby my sin and your sin, so you will be among the companions of the fire. And that is the recompense of the wrongdoers.” [Surah alMaidah ayaat 28,29]

One more way of retaliating is saying حسبی اللہ ونعم الوکیل. This means that the aggrieved person does not seek revenge here in this world, but lodges a case against his adversary in the divine court of God. He is, in effect, saying that God would take my revenge on my behalf, He is sufficient for me. This method is the ultimate form of retaliation, for it can drain your adversary of his good deeds and transfer them in your account on a Day when you both need them the most.

But forgiveness is recommended over retaliation. Forgiveness is not always easy. It is more often easier to ask for forgiveness than to forgive.
After detailing the points of equal retribution, the Qur'an says:
“But if anyone gives up the idea of retaliation as a charity, it would be an act of atonement for him.” [Surah alMaidah ayat 45]

The Qur'an also praises people who forgive instead of retaliating. It calls those people righteous “who restrain their anger, and pardon people- and God loves the doers of good.” [Surah Aal’Imran ayat 134]

This has also been reiterated in the 37th ayat of Surah ashShura- ‘forgive even when angry’.

And going a step further,
“(O Prophet), good and evil are not equal. Repel (evil) with that which is good, and you will see that he, between whom and you there was enmity, shall become as if he were a bosom friend (of yours)”. [Surah Fussilat ayat 34]

And this is precisely what we learn from the Prophet ﷺ as well. He forgave even those who had tried to make his life miserable, who forced him to leave his home city, who had murdered his dear family members and who had caused him immense damage- both on a personal level and to the divine cause he was promoting. We ought to emulate his example.

Let us learn to forgive. Don't hold grudges against anyone. Don't try to settle scores. Don't wait for the person who has offended you to seek forgiveness. Forgive, just as you would want God to forgive you.

- Dr. Parvez Mandviwala